When our first son turned one, we made him a birthday cake – sweetened only with bananas, of course. I simply couldn’t imagine how our little one would ever eat “bad sugar”. After all, for months during weaning we had been meticulous about not using any salt or sugar at all.
On his second birthday, he had his first taste of sugar. In the form of a marzipan praline on a gooseberry cake baked by his great-grandmother. “Never mind,” I thought, as I took a bite of my only lightly sweetened cake for him and swallowed the slightly bitter aftertaste of the situation. Had Pandora’s box – or rather, the sugar tin – now been opened for good?
He’s about to turn three, and sugar now crosses our path, and his palate, from time to time, sometimes more quickly than we’d like.
We’re still a long way from sugar being an everyday thing, but our little family isn’t entirely sugar-free after all. As adults, we also try to keep our sugar intake as low as possible without too much effort or strict deprivation.
When sweets fall from the sky
In spring, for example, carnival is celebrated here in Cologne. And as if the costumes and the well-known carnival anthems weren’t enough, sweets are literally thrown into the crowds during the big parades.
I think the most exciting part is the collecting itself. After we shared a small bag of gummy sweets, the interest in them quickly faded. Two months later, the leftovers are still sitting untouched in our cupboard.
A friend who took part last year told me they wanted to try something different and handed out apples instead. All they got in return was a barrage of abuse.
Apples are still a big hit with us as a sweet snack between meals, especially when they're whole. The b.box snack box makes transporting whole fruit particularly easy – especially when there's room for a small snack alongside.
Between restraint and togetherness
And honestly, I understand both sides. Sugar tastes good, but it simply isn’t necessary. I dread to think how much free sugar I was given as a child. Every single evening while brushing my teeth, I feel relieved that my parents took such good care of my siblings’ teeth and mine.
That’s why I can understand parents who want to “protect” their children from sugar for as long as possible. However, at shared meals where there’s cake or ice cream, this can also feel exclusionary. Social occasions quickly become defined by what a child isn’t allowed to eat, rather than by spending a lovely time together.
My concern is that once our children are old enough to access sugar themselves, the FOMO effect will really kick in, and there’ll be no stopping them. That’s why we want to show our two children that sweets are for certain occasions – as part of a shared moment, not a constant habit.
Compassion and education
At home, we try to avoid shop-bought sweets as much as possible, or we make things ourselves.
After the birth of our second son, I barely had the energy for anything beyond ordering chocolate and ice cream. I had such an intense craving for sweets, and during that time, the rational part of my brain was sometimes switched off.
Whether sugar has an addictive effect similar to drugs hasn’t been clearly proven scientifically. What is clear, however, is that it activates our brain’s reward system and releases dopamine. In that situation – and probably for many other parents too – I now try to treat myself with much more compassion.
Too much sugar over time can also have health consequences – from tooth decay to obesity. When brushing our teeth in the morning and evening, we talk about how they should stay clean and strong. Then the teeth become little cars going through a car wash, being cleaned of food. We always mention that sugar makes teeth especially dirty.
Our everyday life: small routines instead of strict rules
In our daily lives, we rely on simple routines: sometimes a fruit bar with nut butter and fruit, Greek yoghurt with nuts and honey, or a small muesli for dessert, conveniently prepared and portioned in the b.box mini lunchbox.
We’ve also noticed that our older son’s evening appetite is much bigger if we offer a balanced snack in the afternoon. And that things are far more relaxed for us as a family when healthy options are readily available – at home as well as on the go.
We try to completely avoid sweetened drinks. Instead, we offer water, tea, or milk/oat milk. This works surprisingly well for us, especially when the children can drink independently and always have something suitable in their b.box water bottles.
When food becomes a matter of belief
We also realised just how emotionally charged the topic of sugar is in our society when our older son started nursery. Beforehand, we spoke with management, who explained that for birthdays, you’re welcome to bring something homemade, but ideally without sugar. Brightly coloured three-tier superhero cakes are more for home.
On his first day at nursery, a mother arrived with three boxes of shop-bought pink cake featuring a well-known elephant. The looks from the staff and other parents said it all: how could you?
And yes – how could she?
Perhaps she had a house full of guests at the weekend. Perhaps she had to work. Perhaps there simply wasn’t time to bake. Honestly, I take my hat off to her for even remembering to bring something at all alongside childcare, work, household tasks and everything else.
The harshness with which people sometimes judge these situations doesn’t help anyone. It isolates us rather than supporting us. In the end, we’re all trying to do the same thing: take good care of our children and teach them a healthy relationship with food.
Our goal: a relaxed approach to food
These days, we try not to model a perfect diet for our children, but a relaxed attitude towards food. We want to give them memories – of cooking, sharing and eating together.
There will be birthdays, carnival, ice cream in summer and cake at Grandma’s.
And there will be days when they hardly feel hungry or suddenly devour enormous portions.
What we want to give them isn’t a fear of sugar, but a sense that food is more than nutrients. It’s togetherness. It’s independence. And it’s joy.
And sometimes, it’s simply a marzipan praline on a birthday cake.
About the author: Bianka is a designer and mother of two sons. She lives with her family in Cologne, where they experience many adventures in the world of babies and toddlers.